Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
