she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
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You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
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