I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
