Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize