..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
