I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
