He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
