You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
