I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
