Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
