i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
