I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
