dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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