alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
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That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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