so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there was a trapeze. enough said
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
