Well apparently he's into motor boating.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
