Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Are my feet made of real feet?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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