I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
