I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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