Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize