Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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