i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize