glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
