Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
