Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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