yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
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So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
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You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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