My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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