So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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