I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
