i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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