It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
