White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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