My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
