Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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