Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In other news, I just burned my penis
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
