It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
