This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
