Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
