Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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