I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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