I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
