big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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