Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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