Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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