I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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