This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
