I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
