he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
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I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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