Porn is love you can see.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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