At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
