is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
