You're my little dorito
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
