New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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