i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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