The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
