lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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