Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
