plz talk dirty to me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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