He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
