I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
