I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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