You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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