Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
