are you so shy because you have an std?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
