I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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