thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
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You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
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I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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