So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
