What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
